sigh

i honestly wish i didn’t feel this way, not in the slightest. i hate your guts but i still love you as well… and dammit i can’t stop crying. I was really hoping you would be the one. But i can’t forgive what you’ve done.

Or..maybe, just maybe… I might forgive you if you would just own up and apologize. but i don’t ever see that happening. You may not realize what you had till something drastic happens to you, that’s the only way i can maybe see you growing up and bein more mature.

Paying bills doesn’t make you mature… let other’s talk shit on who you’re with and you doing the same, doesn’t make you mature, throwing away a long term relationship with someone who loved you so much it hurts in more than one way- doesn’t make you mature…

I hope one day you’ll wake the hell up and realize what you lost was someone who loved you regardless of the shit you put her through.

I wouldn’t have stuck around as long as i did if i didn’t love you…

i am so damn hurt, idk if i can recover this time.

yes, i may have met a new guy, and he’s sweet as can be… but it just doesn’t feel right…

knowing how you are though- you’ll just rush into another relationship and not think twice and make her feel “oh so special” like you did me, Nikki, and Courtney and whoever else, and then drop her as well once you get bored…

the woman you go with aren’t the problem- not entirely.

you, you’re family, and your “friend’s”, are the main issues…. and until you realize that, your relationships will always fail.

maybe i am just a “piece of shit,” but i’m a piece of shit who didn’t believe in giving up when things got rough… i only stopped trying, because you didn’t care and always put me down and pushed me to do what you wanted and never considered what i wanted, and always belittled me…. i was done with it. I was literally internally dying inside, and rotting, you made me believe i was nothing special at all… Courtney even warned me not to be surprised if you jump into another relationship soon, and honestly… i wouldn’t be… i really wouldn’t… for once i just want someone to truly love me for me and fight for me… that’s all i damn well ask…

i won’t be able to get over you… i just can’t.

but if there’s one thing i wish i could take back… it would be my virginity. this is why i didn’t want to lose it till marriage…

i hate to say it… but you’re a player… and that may be all you’ll ever be if you don’t change…

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